The Problems with 一见钟情


Most people probably alr know, that my current ultimate goal in life is to find my 一见钟情 guy, get married and have kids. Yes, have kids. No matter how much I hate kids, I still think children are an essential part of the family. Moreover, I only have to put up with them for like 10+ years before I have children that are not kids for many more decades.

Everytime I tell people about my 一见钟情 dream, I always get advice on why I should expand my horizons to include an option for 日久生情. So I do believe that after amassing all these advice from so many people, I am one of the most professional when it comes to explaining the problems of 一见钟情. I shall list the five most common problems people have been telling me about;
1. It's just superficial attraction.
A lot of people tell me I can't like someone based on a first impression, and that I probably am just attracted to his looks. Which makes it highly superficial. But it's not like I don't see cute guys in my life. It is superficial if I like every cute guy that comes my way, but I don't. None of these cute guys have ever once became my 一见钟情. In fact, neither have the not cute ones.
2. When we get to know each other better, we may find out that our personalities don't match.
This is an extension argument from #1. That the superficial attraction has nothing to do with understanding and tolerance. Honestly, I don't ever think that there is such a thing as 100% matching personalities. If there were no conflicts in a relationship, someone is probably bending backwards too much. Just thrash things out, and it'll be fine (:
3. I might never meet my 一见钟情 guy.
Believers of 日久生情 also tell me that they believe meeting the right one is fate. In the same way, I also think that 一见钟情 is fate. This point is in no way related to 一见钟情 because whatever the belief, there is a chance that anyone at all is not fated to meet the right one.
4. I may 一见钟情 with a guy, but the guy may not 一见钟情 back. Or the guy 一见钟情 with me, and I don't reciprocate.
To me, that just means that the one who experienced 一见钟情 was probably experiencing a 错觉.
5. I'm seriously limiting my choices.
Well, that is the point isn't it? I thought fidelity means being true and faithful to that one and only.

Honestly, I am not against 日久生情. I know people who 日久生情 and are very happy with their partners. There is nothing wrong with what they believe in, and sometimes I do see how their arguments make sense too. It's just like religion. I respect everyone else's religion, and they respect mine too. We may find fault with other people's religion and defend our own religion, and at some point in our life we may even decide to switch religions. It's just that right now, 日久生情 doesn't happen to be my religion.