Half a Year to Graduation


J'attendais ce jour depuis 15 semaines! Does that make me sound like a bad student? N'importe quoi. I'm finally done with Y4S1! :D congratulations to all my classmates and especially those who are graduating this semester \(^_^)/ also, special thanks to my module buddy for getting through this with me.

This semester has been nothing short of trying. It started with not getting the part time job I wanted, to adjusting to the new seminar style of classes, trying to be a good friend to everyone who needed help, and at the same time dealing with my insecurities on top of it all. I have been feeling insecure about almost everything and anything this year: not sure if I made the right decision to go to Shanghai, not sure if I should attempt an application to write thesis, not sure about my past, not sure about my future, not sure if I want to go to Paris. It is like I am experiencing my quarter life crisis now at age 22. Is this only a little prelude to what it will be like when I turn 25? Or is this a sign that I am going to live until 88? Regardless, decisions have been made that cannot be undone. I want to live the rest of the year being at peace with myself, and coming to an understanding that everything was a good experience and have become a part of me. No looking back, and no regrets.

As I prepare my calendar for December, I see that the last month of the year will probably be much more fulfilling than the entire sem put together. During the school term, I could only think about studying, eating and watching drama. Now I have friends, volunteer work and holiday to look forward to. Hopefully this continuous change of environment will stimulate my brain and pull me out of my slump, and that good vibes carry on into the coming year. I want to record and remember all the little things that happened in the December of 2016, so that I can remind myself of what it is like to live at times of peak rather than depression.

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Today, on the first day of December, I ended my last paper of the semester, and met clique for a lunch of thai food, shopping around and 3hrs of board games at Playnation. I was dead tired by the time we had dinner, since I had only slept about 4hrs the previous night, and had been awake for close to 15hrs. It is almost 18hrs since I last woke up now. Even as I write this I know that I am hardly thinking straight. The sentence and paragraph structures are in an incoherent mess, though it is normal that my brain stops functioning immediately after the exam, since it has been worked to its maximum and has now gone to rest.